How do you deal with people who try to talk you out of your dreams?

Dreams 2

How often do you encounter people who seem to be determined to derail you from your path or talk you out of it just when you’ve found your passion and purpose and you are happily pursuing it?

Often it seems like the closest to you try to talk you out of your dreams. However what surprises me at times is when people you hardly know or have any stake in your life try to convince you how “silly your idea is”, or why “you’re wasting your time” or my favorite, accuse you of “not being realistic enough”.

So here are 5 ways I’ve learned to deal with ‘negative’ comments or people who try to talk me out of what I’m doing:

1. Learn to identify if what you’re hearing is actually ‘constructive feedback’ or just ‘destructive feedback’. Things that can help you do this can be: how well you know the person, his/her experience, their tone and finally your ‘gut feeling’

2. Keep your cool. Don’t be defensive and emotional. Instead show confidence (a smile is a great touch to add) Show that you hear them but at the end it is your choice and decision to make.

3. You can ask investigative questions if you are curious to understand what really is the reason behind their remark. Questions such as “Interesting you say that, why do you think so..”

4. A cool way I learned to turn the tables around is to ask the person what alternatives do they suggest, and how do they think they can help. If they suggest nothing or their suggestion is not ‘constructive’. Just nod your head, say Thank you and cut the conversation short.

5. It’s natural to be annoyed by the negative remarks you hear even after you’ve finished the conversation. It’s also natural to hear voices of self-doubt and anger within you. Stay objective. This is what I do; Acknowledge these voices within me as my ‘ego’ or ‘child-self’ getting all worked up for nothing. I remind myself why doing what I’m doing makes me happy and fulfilled.

Hope these tips help you the next time you are confronted with such a situation.
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Don’t stop chasing your dreams!

Author: Talib Hashim

Abdulmuttalib Al Hashimi (Talib) was born in 1977. He grew up in a sleepy town called Rashidiya, a far cry from the lights and bustle of Dubai. Talib began his career taking on a number of odd jobs (Yes, the legend of the one month stint he landed as a Magician/Promoter in the summer of '96 during the Dubai Shopping Festival is true). His first taste of the corporate world came with the large international bank HSBC, where he started in a small role as a 'Recovery and Debt Collector'. Fortunately, he moved up quickly during his tenure in the bank and was eventually recruited to be part of an elite team of Traders in the banks Global Market department. Inspite of the "Wall Street" like glitz and glamour that came with his role; Talib decided to submit his resignation in the summer of 2006 and say 'Adios' to his cubicle, a regular income -a well paying one too-, his SUV and the life of employment. Together with a young Emirati lady, he established Next Level Management Consultancy, a recruitment firm with specialisation in the niche market of 'Emiratisation' (Employing and developing UAE citizens). He is always proud of the fact that he has helped numerous Emiratis find employment. And he would like to think that he contributed -even if a little bit- to helping them lead happier and more fulfilling lives. Talib holds a Masters Degree in Strategic Project Management. He is an expert in Emiratisation and GCC national employment issues and initiatives. He is also a regular speaker on the topics of employment, development of people, Emirati entrepreneurship and also cultural challenges in the workplace. He also gives a series of motivational speeches titled "10 lessons I learned in 2009". Talib is an expert in multi-cultural issues that influence the Arab workplace and helps companies bridge the gap between their expatriate and local staff. He is often accused by some to be an idealist and a dreamer, however, Talib works tirelessly to become an agent of positive change in society (and ofcourse achieve amazing success as an Entrepreneur in the process). Talib believes that all Arab youth deserve the opportunity and the right to pursue their dreams and aspirations regardless of their race, caste, colour, status and family name in society; and hence he is a strong advocate of national and Arab youth empowerment. He has a passion for travelling and backpacking. He enjoys reading books on history, autobiographies and self improvement. He is currently trying to improve his sketching skills.